Is This The End of My Natural Hair Journey?

September 20, 2017

Wait, what?  The end?  As in end?  Well, let me explain…

You guys, I am tired.

Yep.  That’s how I will begin this post.

I have been sitting here in front of this computer for the second day in a row – and I’ve got nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

In fact, this goes far beyond writer’s block into the depths of a depressed kind of nonchalant, uncaring attitude.  Maybe uncaring is the wrong term, but I definitely can’t find the will to put forth the effort into blogging or vlogging about natural hair right now.  It’s been, what? 3 weeks?  4? I lost track because I’ve been doing other things, and realized that I don’t even miss this.

I know, sad, right?  I’ve been writing in this blog for the better part of 7 years, and I’ve kept a YouTube Channel for about that long, as well.

And I am tired.

But Why Do You Feel This Way?

It all started when I wrote my I’m No Natural Hair Expert Post.  I realized that I still didn’t express what I truly feel in that post.  That I still felt like an imposter to this natural hair scene.  And why?  I have been natural for over 15 years, now.  That’s a long time – and I should be considered one of those natural hair gurus by now.  But alas… I still feel like I am trying too hard to earn followers, and subscribers – and that’s on all my social media accounts.

I’ve said before that this natural hair community is not supportive.  I stand behind that.  Because it’s not.

And I still feel that most of those natural hair YouTubers and bloggers that the community has deemed as “experts”, are not actually in this ‘business’ for the love of natural hair or the need to help other naturals.  They see this as a business… as a dollar sign… and they steal content without credit or remorse from smaller b(v)loggers to increase their views, likes, and subscribers.  And you all flock to these b(v)loggers because most of us care more about what’s popular than what’s true and genuine.  #sorrynotsorry #thisblogisabouttruth #notaboutyourfeelings

Nevertheless, I am going to stop there because this is about me and my own natural hair journey, as of late.

So What About Your Natural Hair?

I’ve had the same dream more than once.  A dream that I relax my hair.  It shocks me every time I wake up because I have NO PLANS ON RELAXING MY HAIR.

Buuut, I believe that dreams contain deeper meanings if we take the time to delve into and decipher those meanings.  So I don’t think that my dreams are telling me to run to Sally’s and purchase the newest relaxer.  I just think that my subconscious is telling me that I’m ready for something new.

Truth be told, I am so bored with my natural hair right now that I could spit.

The other day, I set up my camera in the bathroom to shoot a video for my YouTube channel, showing you all how I moisturize my hair.  I had to reshoot that stupid video three times.  And each time, my attitude on camera got worse and worse.  I did not want to style my natural hair.  At all.  And even stronger was my angst at having to shoot a video.  Now granted, I don’t have to – but it started feeling like I was being forced to do something I didn’t want to do.  I have put so much hard work and effort into making videos, and nothing.  I’ve spent money on equipment, themes, giveaway and review items.  Yeah, I was done with all of it.

So Are You Leaving For Good?

So no, I wouldn’t say this is the end.  Completely.  I have so many plans for my natural hair.  But I don’t have any immediate plans for this blog.  Or my vlog.  Where I usually have my posts planned out for the month, I’ve had nothing in about 2 months.  Nothing.  Nada.  Zilch.  Zero.  Nope.

And I haven’t even been motivated to try.

I don’t want to talk about natural hair.

I don’t want to do my own natural hair.

And I don’t even want to watch videos about natural hair.

I have not felt this way in 15 years.  And it makes me kinda sad.

So I’m going to step away for a bit.  Take a natural hair vacation.  I have no idea what I’m going to do to my own hair, just yet.  But as for my blog and my YouTube channel, I’m going to place both on vacation and focus on something else for a bit.

How Long?

I have no timeline; and there may be days when I want to post a small something just to keep the blog alive.  Or not.

But as of today, all consultations, posts, videos, and tutorials are on hold.

Ask Me About My Hair is on vacation.  Again, #sorrynotsorry #weshouldsupporteachotherbetter #sonoonefeelslikethis

I will let you all know when I’m back, and hopefully you won’t leave me completely.  But if you do, I hope you find the blog/vlog that you’re looking for.

Thanks for your support through the years, and for being awesome readers.  I’ll see you soon!

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