Clothes have the power to make us feel beautiful, trendy, professional, cool, happy, and confident. But clothes can also make us feel ugly, unattractive, frumpy, sad, and even depressed. Seriously. Clothing has superpowers like that.
How Confidence Is Tied To Our Clothing
There’s a feeling you get when you slip into that favorite pair of jeans that fit your curves perfectly. And there’s the feeling you get when you put on that dress that you don’t really like and that doesn’t fit that well, but you can’t seem to let it go. Both are very different feeling, and both feelings can be controlled.
I talk about having a Capsule Closet, and how every piece of clothing in your closet should make you feel beautiful and good about yourself when you put it on.
I Took Back My Self-Confidence
I used to have two closets filled with clothes. Like edge-to-edge and even some floor space. But of all these pieces of clothing, there were only a few that made me feel good when I wore them. One day, I just started going through my clothes – most didn’t even fit me well, I felt huge and frumpy when I wore them which made me feel bad about myself and how I looked almost every day. Others were shades of colors that were horrible on my complexion and that didn’t make me feel happy, calm, or pretty. And then the rest were just not my style, so I didn’t feel like myself when I put them on, and therefore they sat in the closet for too long.
They all had to go.
And they did. And I kept only what I loved and what made me feel awesome. Then, gradually, I learned how to dress for my body and found a place I could shop comfortably and that carried clothing that fit my style. I purchased pieces I needed in the colors I loved and in the style that was my own – my closet has since grown again (only slightly, compared to before! I have half a closet that I share with my hubs…) and the only problem I have picking my outfits is which one do I choose today?
How You Can Conquer Your Self-Confidence
Yeah. I don’t have all the answers to all our self-confidence issues; but I can get us started in the right direction. Anything beyond this post is above my paygrade!
See, when you feel comfortable in your threads, then you feel comfortable in your skin and the skin you’re in starts to love itself. I know this seems a little backwards, but hear me out… We spend MOST of our time in clothes. Unlike Adam and Eve, we don’t just walk around in our bare skins all day long. So some of our confidence comes from the clothing we wear. It’s why we purchase pieces we love, right? Because we love to see ourselves in them.
Why do you think women buy lingerie and men love them in it? The sexiness of them makes women feel sexy and makes men want sex-y. (Trying to keep it rated PG-ish, here!)
It sounds so easy, doesn’t it? It isn’t. Loving yourself takes work; but start fresh with a clean, pretty closet, fill it with pieces you love and things that make you feel beautiful, and that’s a good start.
Step One: Determine Your Style
Some people know what their style is and don’t need help in that department. But some of us, although we like certain colors and designs, still need a bit of help in that department. Don’t rely on a quiz or general description so much that you don’t think for yourself when in the stores. But use them as a guide and then build upon that.
I love a good quiz. Here is the most recent style quiz I took and actually quite liked. Topshop will tally your answers and make recommendations for you based on those answers. You may have to look up your weight in stones (#icant), but other than that it’s pretty easy; and you can create a profile and go back to save clothing preferences and style recommendations.
Step Two: If The Glove Don’t Fit
You gotta QUIT those clothes, girl! Seriously, don’t keep clothes that don’t fit in hopes that you will fit into them again. They take up unnecessary space and put a void in your clothing choices. I’ve done this and it really self-demoralizing and unproductive. Donate the clothes that don’t fit and then replace them with clothes that fit. You will feel much better.
Plus when you do lose that extra weight, you can reward yourself with a smaller size shopping spree. That’s how you feel great about yourself twice. You’re welcome.
Step Three: Color Your Life
Get rid of those colors that just don’t flatter you or make you feel good. No matter how pretty and bright. I created a closet color palette – it really helps me when I go out to remember what colors I have and pieces I need to match. OMG, this has really changed my shopping life for the better!
Step Four: Does It Feel Right?
Go with your instincts. Even if it does fit, how do you feel when you put it on? If you don’t feel good about it, then get rid of it. Simple as that.
(No, I don’t care if your great-aunt Gertrude bought it for you and asks about it every family get-together. Tell her the dog ate it and drive it to your nearest Goodwill or church donation box immediately!)
Step Five: Give It All Up
Don’t hang onto clothes because of the memories. I did this, too, and swiftly ran out of room in my house. You know the saying ‘take a picture, it will last longer’? Right. Do that. And then put it in that box with the rest of them.
Step Six: Haul ___! (fill in the blanks)
…to your nearest favorite clothing store and replace those pieces. Have a mini-shopping spree! Try everything on and see how you look and feel in all your pieces. How do the colors look? Are they part of your seasonal color scheme? Do you love the feel of the fabric and the look of the pattern? Have fun and pay attention to how you feel when your clothes look great on you!
Step Seven: Wear It, Love It, Love You
That’s it. Rock your new clothes and love how you feel when your clothing feels good.
I hope this doesn’t seem superficial. It isn’t meant to. I speak from personal experience – when I started loving how my clothes looked and felt on me, dressing became more fun. Shopping became more bearable. And I wasn’t disgusted with what I saw when I looked in the mirror. I felt more confident because I was more confident because I looked good, and that gave me confidence!
Just wait until we talk about our natural hair closets and how our product stashes make us feel more or less hair-confident! Oh, you thought it wasn’t coming? Well it is…